I keep thinking about things to post, but I only get a chance to post every few days, so I haven't been writing much. I started the post way below on 1/11 but never got to the point that it was put together, so I've never published it. I doubt it will ever be polished enough to publish, so I'm just going to share it "as is" so that I don't forget this stuff. So don't feel obligated to read it. :)
How are things going now, as of 1/16? I think we're all moving in a positive direction and learning each day about how to be a family of five. I am at the point in my sleep deprivation that I'm really tired. I know they say "sleep when the baby sleeps," but that only works when everyone else is asleep, too. I am not getting a shower every day yet, but I'm working toward that. Benjamin is nursing better than at first and gains weight on most days, but we're still working on it. Grace is trying really hard to talk, and the more she talks, (which is a little more each day!) the less frustrated she is, in my opinion. She is 22 mos. old today. Jonathan is still testing the limits sometimes, and also just lost his second tooth. He didn't even know it as he probably swallowed it with his dinner! Jeff was home with me for almost two weeks, including the time in the hospital, so he has been back to work for two weeks already and is being patient with the chaos at home. His travel is starting up again, and Benjamin has a cold, so this should be interesting. (I can't believe Benjamin already has a cold. We all get sick a lot more now that Jonathan is in school.)
Anytime we are all home as a family and can relax, we really enjoy it. We're very thankful to be a family of five. And I'm figuring that, four weeks from now, things will be a little easier. Below you'll see the random thoughts I mentioned:
Disorganized Thoughts, started jotting 1/1/11...
I'm not sure where to start, but I thought I'd jot down a few more thoughts about Benjamin's arrival.
This was my first time in an operating room, and it was a little freaky. All those lights and machines and medical people that I didn't know made me uneasy. It was very reassuring when my midwife showed up in the room and was a warm and cheerful friend, someone Jeff and I already knew. When the drape was up in front of my face and the oxygen mask was on, I got very nervous and felt claustrophobic and panicky. The anesthesiologist gave me something for the panic, and I felt it in my hand as it came through the IV. It burned like crazy. I was so anxious for our baby to be delivered safely and to find out who he/she was. What a joyful moment when he was born! I wish that the moments and memories were not blurred by the anesthesia, but they were. I don't remember everything, but I do remember how happy I was.
After Benjamin was born and the doc was putting me back together, I could feel it. It hurt. A lot. I let everyone know that it hurt. The anesthesiologist said he put more drugs in my IV to take care of it, which also burned, but I don't remember the pain easing up. Perhaps I made a fool of myself on the table, I don't remember. But it really did hurt. Even so, it was worth getting Benjamin here safely to have the C-section. I was pretty groggy and sleepy that whole day after the surgery, but I wasn't coughing, which was great. And we had our little boy, which was fantastic. (The anesthesiologist visited me a couple of days later to see how I was doing and to let me know that I have a "higher need for pain medication than most people." And that if I ever have surgery again, I need to let the doctors know. Is that code for "you were a wimp during surgery"? I don't know, but it really did hurt.)
After that first day, I mostly worked on coughing and getting Benjamin to nurse. Nursing has been troublesome with him just like it has been with Jonathan and Grace. He lost more weight in the hospital than they wanted, and I've been using some formula to help him out. The wonderful lactation consultant visited me on my last day in the hospital and gave me some things to try that have been helpful, but we are not in a good groove yet. We'll get there! People say that since this is our third time with a baby, we're pros. I don't feel like a pro at all, but I feel less panicked by Benjamin's nursing issues than I did by Jonathan and Grace's.
The Wednesday after Benjamin was born, we went to see the pediatrician because of jaundice. All three kids came, but we only survived because my mom came, too. Everybody got weighed and measured, and everybody was a good sport except for Grace. The dr. said that we needed to get blood work to check Benjamin's jaundice. It's hard for me to explain how exhausted I was before the blood work even happened, but you can imagine. Mom was the hero again and kept the older kids while I took him to the lab. Thankfully, his levels were medium/acceptable and we didn't have to take any additional steps to treat the jaundice. What a day!
I just went in for my two-week checkup on Thursday, and everything looks fine so far. I am healing well, and the doctor said that I am allowed to lift Grace in and out of her crib, lift Benjamin and his car seat in and out of the car, etc., as long as I don't have pain. (No carrying, though.) That was a huge relief to me. I have been wondering how I would handle those things for the next four weeks! I am thankful that I am feeling well and that I seem to be making a really good recovery from the surgery. I am not sore anymore and don't need to take the pain meds very often, either. I am thankful that Jeff has been home to help me this week. I'm sure it's made a huge difference in so many ways! The doctor also gave me some antibiotics for my cough. I don't take them very often, but this is one of those times that they're called for, and I think they're helping a lot. I'm looking forward to feeling all the way better and being able to call friends to tell them we had a baby as well as being able to read books to my kids. Talking has caused so much coughing for me that I haven't done those things!
